Thursday, October 17, 2013

Why I Need Your Prayers

Sometimes I want to be that Catholic, ya' know? Like my cheerful friend Maryanne who is always counting her blessings and full of Jesus-Love and hugging all of us and looking on the bright side and she never misses Mass and she goes to confession and she's sweet and loveable.

I'm not that Catholic. I'm the convert who still isn't used to having a Sunday obligation although before becoming Catholic I was the kind of person who never missed church. But that was before I had so many excuses -- err, children.

While in former times I had the passion of St Igantius of Antioch . . .

“It is not that I want merely to be called a Christian, but to actually be one. Yes, if I prove to be one, then I can have the name...Come fire, cross, battling with wild beasts, wrenching of bones, mangling of limbs, crushing of my whole body, cruel tortures of the Devil--Only let me get to Jesus Christ!” 

 . . . now I am in a lukewarm phase. I may be the frog being boiled to death slowly and just enjoying the warm bath.

I have been terrible at getting to Mass since my heart thing during Lent. Now I've admitted it out loud. It's not all the kids or my heart or school starting or baseball or that I'm tired or that my parents just arrived from Idaho or that my parish is huge . . . nope. There have been times in my life when I had the best excuses for missing church (and didn't) but not this time; it's spiritual warfare.  I seem to always have an excuse and now I need to stop it. No more excuses.

Even as I write that, I feel my excuse/justification for this weekend bubbling up. Satan does not want me in church. I've been arm wrestling him a few weeks but this morning I read this great quote on this wonderful blog:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N4YRtoYyTB0/Ul6i6dlgfXI/AAAAAAAABTk/AZI4RahTnX4/s1600/st-t-of-avila-quote3.jpg

There it is. "I'm such a failure. My house is a mess. My hubby is unhappy. I don't make enough money. I don't use my education. My kids misbehave. My family is too busy. I don't go to church every week . . . " etc. etc. etc.

So please pray for me. Clearly, I can use your prayers. I could just power-walk out of this slump but collaboration is a good thing. I am part of a community.

For my part, I will devote myself to praying for you, quiet reader. At least 15 sweet hearted people read all of my posts so this week, I am praying for you, sweetheart, with all my heart. I am praying that all your fears be stilled, that your heart be at peace, that the nagging little worries you haven't admitted to anyone (with skin on) be ironed out of your heart and that "peace like a river attendeth your soul." I will pray in thanksgiving for your faithfulness and the gift of your beautiful life in this world. Thank you and blessings.

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